But first, the good news.
We are so close to being on the waiting list that I wake up excited everyday! This week our home study was approved (YAY!) and our profile design was completed (DOUBLE YAY!), which means the only thing left is for our lifestyle video (we shot 30 days of our life and sent it off to be edited by a company with the agency) to be finished and sent to our agency for final review. We are talking just a week or a couple of weeks here, people! All the paperwork and busy work is done! Once we are on the waiting list we have a 3-12 month wait (that's the average) to bring home our baby, but realistically it could happen anytime! It's so close!
And then- ROADBLOCK.
Since it's so close I have been going to banks (yup, banks- plural) to see what kind of loans we could qualify for to make it the rest of the way. Without giving away too much of our personal financial information, let's just say I've hit a dead end with each bank.
I thought we could get a line of credit. I thought we could get a loan. I thought we could afford it. I thought, I thought, I thought… I was wrong.
Yesterday it all came crashing down. We just don't have the money. And I cried… HARD. Here's the thing that happens when I go down that road- all the anger and sadness from infertility comes back up like a bad dream and there I am again wondering why this happened to me and wondering if I'll ever become the mother in reality that I already feel like I am in my heart.
I know God wants to give me the desires of my heart. I know He will make a way. I'm trying to stay faithful and trust, but we've waited so long and we are now literally waiting to be on a waiting list and I just lost it.
Looking to His word, I find Hebrews 6:15 try to repeat it to myself…
We need to raise about $5k-$6k more to be able to afford a loan that would get us the rest of the way.
Our family and friends have already donated so much and have been so supportive that I feel bad even asking for anything more, but we simply cannot do this on our own and I believe there are still people out there who want to help.
We are going to keep the gofundme.com/adoptbabyq page up, please continue to tell our story and send people there.
AND we are excited to announce a new, fun fundraiser you can be apart of:
Help us make our dream of saving a child and becoming parents a reality by purchasing a t-shirt and asking your family and friends to do the same!