Monday, July 27, 2015

FAQs About Baby Q

One of the best parts of being a waiting adoptive mom is answering the fun questions our family and friends have for us.

Since so many of you are curious (which I LOVE), here are the top ten frequently asked questions about Baby Q- answered! (insert game show theme song here) 

1.) Will you be having a... 

We are not gender specific. It actually costs more to be gender specific and we will be happy with either gender! 

2.) Are you adopting internationally or domestically?

We are registered with a domestic adoption agency called American Adoptions. You can check out their website here: American Adoptions. We do not have an active profile yet. That will happen once our home study goes through! 

3.) How old will the child be?

American Adoptions is an agency that specializes in newborn placement. Most likely, we will be match with a woman while she is still pregnant and be able to communicate with her throughout the final stages of her pregnancy. We will be called when the birth mother has gone into labor so we can be in the hospital when the baby is born. We will be taking a newborn home from the hospital. 

4.) How much communication and connection with you have with the birth mother before and after the baby's birth?

Before the baby's birth, we will have as much communication and connection with the birth mother as she is comfortable with. That may mean phone calls and texts or in person visits. That will all be left up to her. If we are in the same state, we hope to meet her in person and go with her to doctor's appointments. After the baby is placed with us, we are only required to send pictures and a letter every six months of the child's life (until he or she is 18) to the agency. Those will be available for the birth mother if she wants them. She will not know our last names, where we live or how to get in touch with us on a one-to-one basis. She can also write to us through the agency. 

5.) What if the birth mother changes her mind?

This is called a "disruption." The birth mother has every right to change her mind and, yes, sometimes this happens, although our social worker told us it is rare. The time limit she has to change her mind in different in each state. For example, in Florida, it's 48 hours after birth, but the likelihood of us being matched in Florida is slim. When the birth mother signs her final paperwork, she has two witnesses of her choosing. This protects us if she ever decides to go to court and claim she was forced into this decision. With American Adoptions, the birth mother goes through months of counseling to prepare her and make sure she feels that the decision she is making is right for her. 

6.) If a birth mother changes her mind, do you lose any money?

No. With American Adoptions, if we experience a disruption, we can be put back on the waiting list as soon as we are ready at no cost to us. 

6.) Why is adoption so expensive?

An adoption professional’s fees include living expenses, medical expenses, legal and termination fees, agency fees and advertising fees.

Birth mother expenses are the court-approved funds that adoptive families provide to birth mothers to help them cover their pregnancy-related expenses for items such as rent, maternity clothing, utilities, personal hygiene and groceries.

7.) I've heard adopting can take years! How long will your wait time be?

American Adoptions is involved in more than 300 domestic adoptions each year. Because of this, their average wait time for placement (which means baby in our arms) is anywhere from 3-12 months.

8.) When do you begin that wait time?

Once our home study goes through and our profile video is edited, we will officially be "active" and waiting. We estimate that happening sometime around the end of August or early September. 

9.) Are you race specific? 

Jeremy and I are open to many different races and welcome diversity in our family. 

10.) Will you tell your child he or she is adopted? 

From the moment he or she is in our arms we will tell them of their amazing birth story and remind them often of the incredible love their birth mother had for them to make this selfless decision. We will make sure our child always know they are super special because they are not only loved and cherished by us, but they are also loved and cherished by their birth mother- 
they are TWICE LOVED! 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV)

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends...

Adoption is expensive and we do not have an extra $30,000 in the bank. 

 To help us bring home Baby Q., click here:

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